Feeling the Mum Guilt.

Thursday, 16 March 2017
When I went on maternity leave, I had serious plans for my blog. I love writing, photography and the creative side of blogging and it's great being able to make a bit of extra money on the side too. It's a hobby, but I've always felt there's so much more potential in me/my blog and for a while, I've wanted to take it to the next level. Maternity leave was the perfect opportunity, I thought. 

I'm almost 5 months into maternity leave and although I'm proud of how I've grown my blog in this time, I never feel like it's enough. There's always more time I could have worked on something, more effort I could have put in. I find myself feeling guilty for not devoting all my time to it, yet I also feel guilty for not giving 100% of that time to Oliver. 

Maternity leave is supposed to be about spending time with your baby, isn't it?

Maisy Meow Parenting and Lifestyle Blogger Feeling Guilty about going to work and leaving baby

If I ask my mum to watch Oliver so I can take photos for my blog, or ask Andy to take him a walk so I can write a new post, I feel guilty because I think that time should be spent with Oliver. I should put my computer away and play with my baby. I have an almost daily argument with myself about whether I'm right to feel guilty for not giving every minute of my time to him.

Ultimately, my dream is to work from home. To make a regular income from blogging that would allow me to work for myself, while being at home and there for Oliver. Working a few hours in the evening or during his naps, rather than going back to working long days and missing out on his early years. I don't want to leave in the morning and come home when he's in bed. My dream is to have the job that allows me to spend more time with my son, but the only way I can get that is by giving up special moments with him now. It's a catch 22.

I recognise that I'm feeling the 'mum guilt' that everyone talks about and that I'll probably feel it no matter what I do. I can't be the perfect mum, the perfect girlfriend, have a perfectly clean home and build a business all at once. I know that I somehow need to find a balance between working for the future and living in the moment. It's a difficult task but I suppose it's one of many that come with being a mother and having a little person depending on your every move. 

Do any of you struggle to get the work/life balance right?
3 comments on "Feeling the Mum Guilt."
  1. First thing's first: I'm absolutely loving the blog's new look! Is it strange how much I enjoy reading your parenting posts? I've always loved your blog, but the way you've embraced and gotten stuck right into the tough questions around motherhood has been such an inspiring thing to watch develop. Plus the topics you choose to write about are feminist issues that I think it's just as vital for those who have chosen not to have children to do the work and educate themselves in. Looking forward to continuing to follow as your voice develops.

    As for work/life balance - well. I think "balance" is the word, and it's a tough one to get right whatever your situation. It's bloody hard work, but if you can get to a position where your blog allows you to spend more time with Oliver as he grows it'll be worth it. I've been navigating the world of flexible working requests recently, so hopefully I'll be in a position to give you any advice you need on that when that's something you have to think about.

    Lis / last year's girl x

    1. Thanks so much Lis, I've given it a bit of an unplanned make-over this weekend! So glad you like reading my parenting posts, it was never my plan to write so much about the subject on here but it turns out I have a lot more to say than I thought I would!

      I really do hope I'll have the option to do that one day. Hard work will pay off one day I hope! :)


  2. Indeed a difficult subject. My blog is strictly a hobby and I only post once a week. Having a full time job doesn't allow me more. And I am a lot older than you (63) and no kids. Ahusband who does the shopping and cooking and I have a lady who cleans the house for us. And still I too always feel guilty not spending enough time on my blog, visiting other blogs, managing all the other social media around my blog. So your task is infinitely bigger. You have to choose and let go. Otherwise you will drive yourself insane. Making a blog work so you can earn money with it, is really difficult. It takes a lot of hard work (and hours) and that is still no guarantee it will fly. It might and it might not. I have no idea why some pull it off and others don't. Your writing is funny and you are a very pretty woman. Those are two big starting points, so who is to say?


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